8.19.2009

God is with me....

Well, a lot has happened since the last time I posted. I went back to Pa for a second week to pack up my mother's house. It was hard but I got it done. Nathan's mom came up there for a few days to help me with getting it packed. I was so thankful that she was there to support me. I didn't have a whole lot of help the first few days, but when it came time to move a lot of my family came. Packing started on Monday and we finished on Thursday. Friday and Saturday were moving days. Friday was hard because we moved stuff from 3 pm til 1 am. I was glad that I had more help because I would still be doing everything right now. I was gone from June 26th - Aug. 2nd. Even after I left there was still things to do. My Nana had a yard sale this past weekend and my Aunt Lisa will be having one this weekend to try to make some more money. I was sad that I couldn't be there because I didn't really get to go through the stuff and get things. I did grab a few things that I saw while packing, but nothing too much in detail. It was hard to do this because I was packing up my mother's life into boxes in less than a week. That my friend was not easy. But God gave me strength. I got through it.

Also while I was home my Aunt Lisa helped me open an estate account, go through the bills, and helped me with getting sign in offically as the Administrator of my mom's estate. This week I am finishing up calling everyone to close out her accounts. As of now the estate is not settled, so I can't pay off anything that is owed. This process will take a little while. But so far, almost every company I have talked to has been very gracious and helpful. And God is giving me patience with the people that have not been helpful. lol

It is crazy to me that it has almost been two months since my mom passed away. It feels like just yesterday I was home with my family. But I feel that I am handling myself and this situation well. Don't get me wrong, this has been the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with but I know that God wouldn't let this happen in my life or my families lives if we could not handle it without Him. I feel His presence around me everyday.

Lately, I have been having dreams or rather nightmares about things but Nathan has been there for me to talk about them and pray for me so I can go back to sleep. I have realized that I get my frustration out in my dreams. I always seem to vent how I truly feel while I am sleeping because there are somethings I can not say to people in real life. It is weird but funny and it helps. But sometimes the dreams are scary and sad. Because I don't know how the day before or during played out. I have some details but I am more of a big picture thinker. I need to see and know everything that happened...so in turn I tend to dream and think about what happened or what I think could have happened. A good thing though is when I wake up I remind myself of what is true about the dream and what is not.

As of right now, I start counseling on September 10th with a great woman. She is the counselor at Woodland Park Baptist Church and I just love her. She has such a sweet spirit and she is very wise and funny. I am glad that I am going...I have a hard time explaining and understanding everything that has happened. And I need someone that is on the outside to talk to. I can only say part of what I want to my family.

Please pray that my family pulls together during this time. They have been pushing everyone away, but we are working to fix that. It still is hard though.
Pray for my grandparents as this was their daughter. Their oldest daughter.
Pray for my siblings as they are at a young age having to deal with this. My brother is a senoir in high school this year, my sister is a sophmore, my other sister is pregnant and engaged (the first grandchild for my mom) and the other sister is 12 years old.
Pray for my Aunts and Uncles for this was thier sister.
Pray the my family comes to the Lord. For knowledge and understanding that He is in control even when someone is taken to be with Him.
Pray that God shows His love and strength to my family.
And finally pray for my husband and I. God has definetly pulled us closer together and to Him. May this continue. For strength in the middle of the night or sometimes during the day.

Thank you for reading.

One last thing, I just want to write this down. The people I work for and with are awesome. My boss and his wife are amazing people and they have really made me feel apart of their family. For my managers, they have been great and supportive. Being there to help me fix my schedule when needed. And for listening to me talk about everything. And for my co-workers... man I love them.

On Monday, I was presented with 2 tickets to Six Flags, a gift card to Dave and Buster's and some money for gas and travel expenses. Just to let me know that they care. To give Nathan and I a fun stress free day. It was so unexpected. So gracious and giving.

God has truly blessed me with the people there. He knew that I would be at the Southern Star during this. And He has used them greatly to help me through this. Most of all, my friend Stephanie...she is the most caring and thoughtful person I know. She is hard working, never leaving something undone. She has been a great support for me in Chattanooga. She is just great. Someone I know I will be friends with for the rest of my life. God has truly blessed me.

Thank you to everyone that has been there for me and my family. Helping me in any and every way. May God bless you.

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